So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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