it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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