Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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