I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
