Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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