Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
