I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
