I am in a vortex of obligation.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
