We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
