there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This baby is an asshole
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
