i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
