Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
