The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.