If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor