i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
either way he was missing a nipple.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"