sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
