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• (804): View more from Virginia

  No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.

  Fav 5 2816 809

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

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• (718): View more from New York

  GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  "suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"

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