He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
