Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
