I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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