some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize