AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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