apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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