I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
