I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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