its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
