felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize