i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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