i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
