I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
