Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
