He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
