how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
