Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
