Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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