I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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