I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
