dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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