C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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