Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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