Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
