On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
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