I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
