Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
