She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
