evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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