Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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