Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
