i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
