it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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