Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
