Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
false alarm, still single
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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