The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
