Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
