Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
