So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
