This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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