Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize