last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
