am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
