just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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