Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
either way he was missing a nipple.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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