There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
